Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category

Your greatest advice is your own


When I first began posting on this blog years ago I used it as an outlet to promote my two books. I’m seven years older and wiser now, so of course, my motive is different. Now, I simply don’t have the same motive I had when I first began writing blog posts. I’m in a completely different place in life and as of late I’ve experienced a lot of growth. If you look back on my blog post from 2009, 2010, or 2011, I’m sure some of the ideology I shared back then would differ from today. I come back and write a blog post whenever I get a hunch, not because I feel compelled to. Recently I looked back at some of the greatest advice I received over the years in regards to life, love, relationships, and anything else concerning my personal well-being, and some of the greatest I received was from none other than myself. Of course, I’ve received great career, lifestyle, business, and financial advice from people other than myself, but the greatest advice for me was my own advice.


Your greatest advice in your own

There are times in your life where your own logic seems stuck. You feel like you need outside opinions to make a decision concerning your own well-being. You then seek outside advice to assist you with making a decision. Whether it was advice it’s regarding your love life, your career, your finances, or anything else concerning your own well-being. This happens a lot throughout life, especially in early adulthood.

I’m sure you have received some great advice from outside sources whether it’s your family, friends, or peers. However, no one on earth knows your heart and your mind like you know your heart and mind. You’re the only person on this earth who can know how you feel and think inside without showing outer emotions or verbally speaking on those emotions. Yes, there are some people in the world with a strong intuition or firm sense of discernment, but even they would have to see some sort of outward sign or symbol from you in order to make their judgement regarding you, meanwhile you don’t.

Since you’re the only person on earth who knows you inside and out, you have the internal mental power to rationalize with yourself enough to make the best decisions for your life. Of course, if you’re not in your right mind or in good physical or mental health, you’ll need someone to assist you with making a decision. Other than that, your greatest advice usually dwells internally. Now, I’m not referring to advice regarding something you’re new at such as a new job position or tasks, being new to an area you just moved in, or new to a school. I’m referring to advice regarding your personal well-being, life decisions.

When receiving outside advice, the people who lend you their advice have two sources; your situation you need advice on, and their own personal experiences. When receiving advice from yourself, there are two sources, your personal experiences and your situation. Both of your sources involve you. I’m a firm believer that we go through things in order to build and improve our wisdom. Of course, negative experiences sometimes cause insecurities that may seem like setbacks, but sometimes advice from outside sources causes insecurities as well. This happens often when receiving outside advice, especially in reference to dating. Often times I hear outside sources uttering advice similar to, “I wouldn’t trust him/her because that happened to me before and I ended up getting my heart-broken.” Or I often hear more blunt opinions like, “He/she is probably cheating because that’s how so and so behaved when they were.” Those two examples of advice are both outside advice and negative advice, and they’re not necessarily definite potential outcomes. Those are just two examples of how outside advice can sometimes be bad or potentially harming advice.

I’m a firm believer that maturity is based on the adjustments you make from conflicts or experiences. I don’t believe maturity has a strong correlation to age. Of course, with age you have more experiences, but it doesn’t mean you made the proper adjustments to solving the conflicts or issues that come along with those experiences. Some people experience the same issues over and over in life without resolving them. That is not maturity. You can be 50 or 60 years old and still be in the same mental place as you were in your twenties. You can be 70 and still financially immature in regards to the way you view finances and money. The more you mature, the greater your own advice for yourself will be.

The greatest advice I received in life regarding my own well-being was my own advice. I’ve received some great outside advice throughout my life. As an adult, I have also received some horrible outside advice in my life regarding finances, relationships, location, education, career, and knowledge. Once I made adjustments and began taking my own advice regarding those things, my life took a turn for a better in those areas. I look back on a lot of outside advice I received so far in my life, and I realize a good 80% of the advice I received from outside sources wasn’t even being followed in their own life. Follow your own advice regarding your well-being. You may be thinking, “But what if my own advice ends up being bad advice?” Then you can make adjustments and watch your ability to rationalize improve.