Subconscious bad habits forming from perception

Posted: December 3, 2016 by Nell in Lifestyle, Self Help/ Motivation, Society, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,



This past week, I was in a rush, walking and heading towards my destination. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything going on in the environment around me. My focus was getting to my destination on time. There was a younger guy standing in the direction I was walking towards, I’m assuming he may have been homeless. As I walked by the guy, he said, “Sir, can you please buy me something to eat?” My response was, “I’m good, man.” What he said to me really didn’t resonate with me until I was far away. I instantly felt bad. My actions towards him didn’t sit well with me. I felt bad for a number of reasons. Although I’ve never begged for food from strangers in public, I’ve been broke before, and I’ve also been hungry without having money for food before. There were times when I didn’t have money and someone had to provide a meal for me. Experiencing those things at certain times in my life is why I felt like I related to him. Add in the fact, he was also around my age and a black man like me.

There is no happy ending to this story, for me at least. I didn’t go back to purchase him food at that moment. I went back to the area where he was a little later in the day, but he was no longer there, as expected. I felt bad about it because my conscience knew I could have made someone’s life better that day, and I didn’t. I also knew I’ve been in a similar situation (being hungry while not having money for food) numerous of times. If I’m given the opportunity to be in that situation again, the outcome will be different.

I subconsciously created a habit of ignoring some people based on perception. The subconscious bad habit was formed during my childhood. I grew up in a pretty bad neighborhood in my hometown. We were taught from an early age not to trust people, especially people we didn’t know. We didn’t trust stranger’s motives nor their intentions. My neighborhood had drug addicts roaming the streets, and one of the rules I was taught was to not give them money for food because they’ll just go purchase drugs instead of food. It was something that stuck with me, so I’ve always been selective when handing out money to the needy. It’s a horrible habit I’ve formed, because every person on the street is not a drug addict, and all of them don’t want money to purchase drugs. Some people are hungry for food, or maybe they want to purchase clothes, or use the money to get on a warm bus or train. You never know, but perception sometimes kills that.

I’ve never been the type to think I’m high and mighty. I’ve never been the type to think I’m better than homeless people or any other person. My motto is, no one above me, no one below me. I’ve never been “too good” to give money to those in need. I don’t have desire to be and my upbringing won’t allow me to be if I did. Also, fear  didn’t have anything to do with me not stopping to purchase food for him, because I don’t believe there was anything to fear. When I decided not to stop and purchase the guy some food, it had everything to do with a subconscious bad habit I created. I didn’t stop to hear him out. Later on, my conscience was affected with guilt, because it was in my character to purchase the guy’s food. That’s a bad habit I’ll strive to break and I hope many others strive to break their subconscious bad habits as well. I challenge myself to be better and I issue the same challenge for you.




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