The Benefits of Having a Situationship

Posted: March 24, 2016 by Nell in Dating
Tags: , ,

Situationships

 

I come back and blog every now and then. I only blog when I feel like I have to put some thoughts out in the universe, and hopefully, it benefits someone as a result. I decided to blog this time about situationships. It seems to be the popular activity these days in reference to dating. I’m sure you’ve read about this topic or even discussed it before, but I decided to give my perspective on it.

 

The Benefits of Having a Situationship

I’m sure there are some people who will read this and wonder what a situationship is. There really isn’t a firm universal definition of what a situationship is, but I’ll give my definition. A situation is a relationship without a title and without the responsibility of commitment. I refer to it as dating with benefits. It’s basically when two people are involved with each other. They do things that normal couples in relationships do. In fact, there are usually feelings involved with situationships as well, the same as with legit committed relationships. I can’t really say a situationship is no strings attached because there usually are strings attached, especially if the strings represent emotions.

Being honest, I’m not going to write about the benefits of having a situationship in this post. Sorry, the title is misleading, I know. However, the more I mature, the more I become pro-family and pro-building. I’ll be a hypocrite if I pretended like I haven’t had my fair share of playing the field, but I want to give a different perspective. I tend to shy away from writing from my perspective sometimes, but not on this topic. I did the situationship thing over the years, and honestly, it was a huge waste of time. Of course, if you have specific motives you want to get out of a situationship such as sex, attention, affection, material possessions, or anything else you intend to get out of it other than a legit relationship, then I’m sure a situationship is beneficial to you in more ways than others. But when you begin to focus on the amount of emotion (in some cases), money, time, and effort, you begin to realize your return investment is usually less than your initial investment.

You know, all of the above-mentioned motives are cool if that’s what you’re in it for and you’re upfront about it with the person you’re involved with. However, people tend to not approach situationships in an honest and open way. Not only do some people tend to lie to the person they’re involved with, but sometimes they also lie to themselves in order to create a potential relationship goal that they know deep down inside probably won’t ever come to fruition. It’s like the woman or guy who settles for the situationship because the person they’re involved with is not quite ready for a legit relationship. So they convince themselves if they play along, hopefully, they’ll convince the person they’re involved with to turn their situationship into a legit relationship. The possibility of that happening is usually very low due to the convenience that comes along with a situationship.

Situationships tend to be the convenient option as people become more fickle in regards to who they have situations with. In this day of instant gratification, there are a lot of people who choose to have a situationship over a legit relationship because of the freedom that initially comes along with it. I used the word initially because sometimes that freedom doesn’t last, even in situationships. Some people see it as convenient because it provides them with the opportunity to have their cake and eat it too. It gives people the option of having someone they may be emotionally involved with, and also the option of pursuing other people without the cheater label being attached to them. The convenience of a situationships is why some people favor this type of relations.

Personally, when I was doing the situationship thing, I had no issue with it. However, once hindsight sat in years later, I realized I wasted a lot of time which could have been used on things such as self-improvement, self or business investments, pursuing other passions, or building with someone who I wanted to have a future with, instead of wasting it with women who were just people of the moment. Time is very valuable, and dedicating it to people who you’re not building anything legitimate with is sometimes a sign that you’re unaware of how valuable time really is. It’s amazing how when you’re involved in a situationship, you’re sometimes not aware of how much time you’re wasting until it’s over with and hindsight sets in. The situation is casual and there’s sometimes comfort in casual, and that tends to be the reason why some people choose to drag out situationships for months and even years. The older I get the more I realize “casual” is dangerous in reference to relations. There are certain situations you’re not supposed to be committed to for life. Maybe it’s a  dead-end job, maybe it’s a city that’s filled with negativity, not much progress, and not many opportunities. However, the older I get the more I realize when dealing with people, casual usually does more harm than good.

Human beings are naturally emotional, both men and women, contrary to what some people may believe. Even in casual situations such as casual dating or even casual sex, usually one of the people involved becomes emotionally attached. If both people are emotionally attached, being casual is where the danger comes in. You have two emotionally attached people with no relationship in sight. The opportunity to date outside of the situationship exist because the two of you are not in a legit committed relationship, and that usually creates conflict, which is the subject of another blog post within itself.

It’s your choice whether or not you want to involve yourself in a situationship. What do you value more, time or convenience? I cannot speak or answer for you and state which one is more important or valuable to you. Some people may value their time, but still like the convenience of being involved with someone who they don’t have to be committed to. You may be at a point in your life where you like the benefits of being single and uncommitted more than you like being in a relationship. It’s strictly a matter of self-choice, but be sure to keep in mind some of the points I made in this post.

 

Nell

 

Be sure to check out my website: www.hellonell.com

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