How Thorough Is Your Dating Counsel?

Posted: May 21, 2015 by Nell in Dating, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , , , , ,

Dating counsel



I’ve been meaning to write on this subject for years. Back in 2011, I wrote something similar in reference to the possibilities of your friends ruining your relationship. This time around I decided to speak on it again. I think it’s very imperative for people to seek sound advice from the right dating counsel. Choosing the wrong dating counsel for advice could be detrimental to your love life.

How Thorough Is Your Dating Counsel?

Let’s be real, there are a lot of people who seek dating advice from friends, family, and loved ones. Some people even branch out and seek advice from therapist, dating coaches, and authors. I don’t believe they’re wrong in doing so, because I believe if we aren’t supposed to seek advice for a dilemma, we would already have 100% assertiveness in our mind regarding it. For example, not many adults are seeking advice on how to tie their shoe strings. I would think most adults have that figured out already. However, when it comes to things such as health, finances, and dating, human beings tend to seek outside sources. While I don’t see an issue with seeking outside sources for dating advice, the advice given could be problematic.

I remember a few years back when I was heavy into dating, women would state to me that they have discussions with their male friends, regarding me. I understood why they would consult a male friend regarding advice for me since we share the same gender. However, in my opinion, they were better off seeking advice from someone who can give advice from an objective standpoint. Friends, especially male friends for women, tend to give advice from a subjective standpoint. Of course they’re going to look out for the best interest of their friend, but sometimes in doing so they give the wrong advice. With male friends for a woman, it’s a little different. The guy just may be a platonic male friend who plays the bigger or little brother role. However, sometimes the male friend can have a hidden agenda and secretly want the woman romantically for himself. If the latter is the circumstance, he more than likely will not give the woman advice that will lead to her and the other guy connecting further. I like to call these guys haters, but there are other words that can be used to describe them.

Your friends and family can also be bad sources to seek for dating advice. Once again, it points back to the ability to give objective advice rather than subjective. Your family and friends genuinely care for you, so they’re more than likely are going to give you advice from a protective point of view. While some people may disagree with what I’m about to say, the reality is some people have family and friends who don’t want to see them happy in terms of romance. If they’re single or having trouble with finding a mate, they very well may want you to remain single along with them. Being involved romantically cuts the free time you had when you were single in half, sometimes. That means your family and friends will be spending less time with you, and some people of your loved ones may not be fans of a shortage of quality time spent with you. Be careful with seeking dating or relationship advice from friends. Sometimes the advice is sound and helpful, but sometimes their advice could put out the flames on a potentially great love connection.

Dating coaches, therapist, and authors are capable of giving you advice from an objective standpoint. They don’t have as much of a connection to you as your loved ones do, so their advice may be more objective. However, there are some dating coaches, therapist, and authors that give advice from a subjective standpoint. Maybe their subjectivity is due to a similar dating experience they went through. Maybe they have a friend or relative going through the same. One important thing to remember when seeking advice from dating coaches, therapist, and authors is their advice comes in exchange for currency. The involvement of money can make their advice to you more subjective than objective, because they want to please you as a customer or client. Telling you exactly what you want to hear or stroking your ego brings you back for more advice. Just like family, you can’t take every dating coach, therapist, or author’s advice for gospel.

The key with seeking dating counsel is to go with whichever person provides the most objective advice. The person who doesn’t pick sides or always take up for you is probably the second best person to seek dating advice from. The best person to seek dating advice from is yourself, because in the end your choices are decisions are the ones you and your potential mate have to live with, as long as the two of you exist together. Choose your counsel wisely.



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