What’s Your Blueprint For Your Ideal Relationship?

Posted: May 25, 2013 by Nell in Dating, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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What’s Your Blueprint For Your Ideal Relationship? 

When I ask people this question, normally they will name a celebrity couple. I’ll hear the Jay-Z and Beyonce (most popular answer), Will Smith and Jada Pickett Smith, Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham or some other celebrity couple. What do all of those celebrities have in common? Money and fame. Now take the average, ordinary person into consideration. They’re not Billionaires and while they may be popular among their circle of friends or city, most ordinary people are not famous. Another thing people don’t take into account is celebrities don’t live out their relationships in the public eye. Sure you’ll see them out on dates, you’ll read about certain aspects of their relationship in articles, you’ll see their kids, but you don’t follow them on a 24-7/365 basis. Meanwhile, a relationship is a 24-7 ordeal. A real relationship that is.

Ponder on the question of this blog post. What’s your blueprint for your ideal relationship? I’m not asking which couple’s relationship would you like yours to emulate. The keyword in the question is blueprint. What kind of standards do you want to have set for you and your partner? What kind of goals would you like to set for you and your partner to attain in the relationship? What about communication? Is that important? How will you and your mate solve your arguments and disagreements? When money is low or there is a financial issue, how will you and your partner team up to maintain and overcome it? Would you leave or think less of them if they don’t have the resources like your favorite celebrity couple? If they fall off (physically or financially), would you encourage them and help them improve or would you leave? Back to that goal thing,  do you want to build with your partner or build separately? All of these questions are questions to strong possibilities in a real relationship. Your favorite celebrity couple may not ever have to worry about financial issues, but the chances of you and your partner having financial issues are high. In fact, financial issues are one of the top causes of divorce.

There are a lot of other questions not mentioned above that can lead you to the answer to the title of this post. If you notice, seeing photos of your favorite celebrity couple out on dates together answers none of those questions. Reading about them in articles doesn’t provide answers, nor does hearing them speak on each other in interviews. People only let certain parts of their relationship hit public (the way it should be). You’re not going to hear about the arguments and disagreements they have or how often they have them. You won’t hear about the flaws in their trust or communication. You’re not going to hear about how they overcome their financial issues together because for the most part the celebrity couples that most people adore are wealthy. You may hear about their goals, but your goals should not be specifically the same as their goals. Remember, every individual is different.

Making a celebrity relationship or any relationship the blueprint for yours can have a negative impact on your relationship. For one, you’ll place unrealistic expectations on your partner and two, you’ll place them on yourself as well. Do you have the resources (money, clout) to live up to the relationship of your favorite celebrity couple? Does your partner have those resources? You’ll just find a partner that has the qualities of Jay-Z, Will Smith, Beyonce, or Jada Pickett Smith right? Yea, well what about you?

As stated above a relationship is a 24-7 situation. You can’t have a be in a relationship for 9 hours out of the day, and if you are you’re not in a relationship. No relationship is perfect or flawless, not even celebrities or other relationships you adore. They have arguments, disagreements, trust and communications issues, but what they don’t show you is how to overcome those issues (for the most part). Its you and your partner’s job to learn how you both will overcome them. I know there are a lot of questions in this post to ponder on but they are important questions. There’s a difference between trying to live the lives of others and living your life. With that being said, what’s your blueprint for your ideal relationship?

 

Nell

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