Flattery Kills: The Negative Effects of Thirsty Behavior

Posted: January 4, 2012 by Nell in Dating, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , , , , , , ,

You ever wonder why people who display thirsty behavior rarely get what they want?  For example, you see someone on the internet that constantly compliments someone, but they eventually get mad when they’re not rewarded for those compliments. There’s a lot of that going on. People use flattery in order to gain the attention of someone who they’re interested in. Nothing is wrong with that, but its the overuse of flattery that translates into thirsty behavior. Both women and men can sense when someone’s flattery is genuine and when it’s just…thirsty. I decided to write a post about this because I’m getting more exposed to thirsty behavior daily.  There are two major negative effects that flattery and thirsty behavior have on people. One is the effect that flattery has on the person that’s being flattered and the other is the effect on the person doing the flattering.

Flattery Eventually Kills False Confidence

Where does your confidence come from? Does it come from your past and present accomplishments or does it come from the compliments that other people pay you? If your answer is the latter, you can be affected by flattery in a negative way. I have no issue with people and their self-confidence. I wish the world was filled with people who had true self-confidence instead of false. There are a couple of things that lead people to have false confidence. One is flattery and the other one has more to do with having low confidence or self-esteem, therefore they have to over compensate for it by pretending that they’re a confident individual.

What is true confidence? I believe true confidence is when you are able to recognize the difference between flattery and a genuine compliment. The latter is good for you, while the first can and will eventually kill any false confidence that you do have. I’m not the type to see someone bragging all the time and say “Wow! They’re so confident.” I recognize confidence in people by their actions and decision-making. People with true self-confidence are firm in whatever decision they make. If they believe blue shoe laces make sneakers look better, they are going to wear blue shoe laces no matter who thinks it’s a bad idea.

With social networks such as Twitter and Facebook being major forms of communication, thirsty behavior is growing. Right now there is a  female with low self-esteem flashing her breast on her social networking site for compliments and sucks up all the flattery that men send her way and uses it to gas her self-esteem and confidence. Now some people may be thinking “but she’s confident because she’s showing her cleavage on the internet and that takes some confidence.” This is false, because if those compliments from people stopped, she probably wouldn’t post her breast on the internet anymore. The same thing goes for the guy that brags about how much money or material possessions he has. If people don’t compliment him or pay him any mind, eventually he’ll stop bragging. If your confidence is based on compliments that people give you, you’re setting yourself up for the kill. Always strive to develop and have true self-confidence.

Being Thirsty is a Waste of Time

I personally know and associate with some pretty well-kept legit women. If you were to ask them if they’re impressed by thirsty men they’ll tell you no. The same thing goes for men in reference to thirsty women. If a woman consistently throws herself at us it usually raises a red flag. The more she tries to flatter us, the less attractive she becomes. However, some men and women believe that displaying thirsty behavior will eventually get them in good standings with the person that they are trying to impress. That is usually false, because flattery kills interest. There are some people who do find flattery to be attractive, but those people eventually get tired of being flattered and dissociates with the person that was doing the flattering. I have witnessed more men and women blow the opportunity to connect with people that they were interested in by displaying thirsty behavior, than I have witness people create an opportunity.

It’s okay to give compliments to people, but with anything in life there is a such thing as overdoing it. It’s also okay to receive compliments. The happy medium is real, even in reference to compliments. If you have a genuine interest in someone, let them know vocally and then watch their reaction. Don’t overdo it though. Constantly complimenting them or stalking them just makes you out to be a weirdo and eventually they may end up slapping an order of protection on you. Keep it mild and simple and you’ll have a better chance than you would if you went overkill on compliments. This not only pertains to dating, but anything else in life.


  1. Tierra says:

    Boy who you telling? Its some men out here that are filled with thirst. I dont get it tho. They need to grow up really.

  2. Keshia says:

    This is such an honest blog because there are so many thirsty people and maybe they have always been like that or maybe it has recently been heightened due to the increase of social networking sites. There is always some half naked chick on facebook or some dude flashing money its really sad.

  3. AprilEsutton says:

    Found this article when I did an internet search on flattery. The daily prompt is flattery and I will be writing on it. Hope you check me out, at April’s Perspective https://aprilesutton.wordpress.com/ Thirsty behavior is a new term to me, and I totally agree that insincere flattery is a turn off.

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