What are you in it for?

Posted: November 15, 2011 by Nell in Dating, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , , , ,

I haven’t blogged in a few weeks because I have been working on some other stuff. I decided to come back and share something with you. I was gonna post a blog last week, but I didn’t feel like blogging about the topic that I had. It was very redundant, and if I think that, then it’s not a good idea to write about it. Anyone that is familiar with me is aware that I like to converse with older people and suck as much wisdom out of them as possible. I wouldn’t call it a hobby, but it’s definitely something that I look forward to if I’m in their presence. I decided to write a blog based on the conversation that I had with an older woman about a week ago.

This blog was going to be about “thirst” and how it ruins great opportunities for people. I decided to not write about it after I saw something about thirst being a trending topic on twitter. This is my blog, so I could have written about it if I wanted to, but if a topic is trending I really don’t want to drive it into the ground. I think it’s pretty much common sense reference to thirst. It’s nothing good about it.

What are you in it for?

When I was conversing with the older lady a week or so ago; it was on this topic. She stated that her son was having marital issues and he had only been married to his wife for 2 years. She stated that she asked him the same question that is listed as the titled of this blog, “What is he in it for?” Her son couldn’t answer the question. I thought to myself about my past relationships and I thought the same. The question is so simple, but when you really think about it, it holds the answers to a lot of relationship problems.

In business, there are partnerships that take place. One of the reasons why deals take place in business is growth. Sure some business owners get into partnerships with other owners for security, support, and other reasons, but growth is usually the main reason. In order to succeed in business, your company has to grow. Not necessarily in size or number of employees, because there are many entrepreneurs that work on their own. However, eventually they will also need to expand in staff if their company continues to succeed. A business has to grow in terms of income and the amount of money that your company makes in order to succeed. Of course if you’re growing in terms of capital and actual business production the size of your company and number of employees will probably need to expand. Well, the same goes for relationships.

I usually write about pre-relationship topics like dating, self-improvement and other things of that nature. Tonight I decided to take things a step further and write about actual relationships. I personally believe that the only way a relationship can be successful is if it’s treated like a business partnership. This is my belief, it doesn’t necessarily have to be yours or anyone else’s. I’m going to explain my reasoning for my belief in this blog.

When I state that relationships should be treated like a business partnership, I am not speaking in terms of money. Money may be the reason why many relationships don’t work out, but I’m not referring to it. In business, most successful companies have a business plan. They know what they want and how they’re going to go about achieving it. The plan is what keeps them on pace for success. It’s similar to short-term and long-term goals. People tell you to come up with short-term goals because they are part of the process for accomplishing long-term goals. If you’re trying to lose 20 lbs, you set out to lose one or two first. The same thing happens with companies and their business plans, and the same should be done for relationships. In relationships, we tend to know what we want (sometimes) but a lot of times we have no clue of how we are going to go about achieving what we want. The steps of knowing how to get to where the two of you want to be are the most vital.

Before a partnership takes place in business, both sides usually discuss what their plans are for the partnership. I believe If relationships are treated this way, they will have more success than one that’s not. A relationship’s success is determined before it even starts. Imagine two companies becoming partners without discussing plans or goals. I’m quite sure that partnership will not last long nor reach success. Sometimes we make a mistake and get into a relationship based on pure emotion, without logic being anywhere in sight. Talking about plans and goals for the relationship may seem corny to some, but it’s actually the logical thing to do. Simply saying “This relationship is going to be a success because we love each other” is not good enough.

While discussing your plans and goals for your partnership, be sure to mention your reasoning for wanting to pursue a relationship with your mate. The key is to make sure that both sides see eye to eye and have similar goals. The ultimate goal should be identical as your mates or at least close to it. If not, the two of you may want to reconsider. Finding someone who has the same goals as you for a relationship is another topic for another blog. Its something that I believe happens naturally and when it’s least expected. So of course if you’re thirsty for a relationship and rush it, chances are you’ll sabotage what I just stated. Be easy, plan, and when the time comes ask your mate and yourself what are you in it for?

I decided to write this because I don’t touch on actual relationship communication too much on my blog.  I hope you enjoyed.




  1. Marsha says:

    Hey D you should post more. I have people checking out your blog. I didnt read this yet but I am about to.

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