Protect Your Mind, Not Your Heart!

Posted: August 20, 2010 by Nell in Dating, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , , , , ,

Protect your mind, not your heart. I know some people read the title and their initial reaction was “WHAT?” People always state that you should be careful of who you give your heart to. I agree, but there’s something far more important that people give away when it comes to being involved with someone, their mind. I’m going to touch on why it’s a bad thing to give someone the key to your mind in this blog!

This is the 50th Published Blog that I have written for my blog site. Lately a few of my close friends have been asking why do I blog for free. Honestly, I write blogs and give away the material on my blog for free because I love helping people and I like to write. I do it because I know that I’m helping someone. The feedback is what keeps me interested in doing it for free. I have two books that people can purchase if they ever want to support me financially, so I’m not worried. As long as I don’t feel like I’m doing this in vain, then I will continue to blog for free.

Protect Your Mind, Not Your Heart!

Have you ever been head over hills for someone? I’m talking about REALLY head over hills for someone to the point that you would literally do anything to be with them, stay with them, and not lose them no matter how bad y’all situation. I’m talking about that person that deep down inside you ask yourself “why can’t I leave them, I’m jaded,” but you still stay. I’m referring to that person that you believed that you couldn’t live without. The person that you felt you couldn’t be happy without. The person that you felt you couldn’t enjoy life without. What was it about that person that made you so crazy over them? Was it the fact they had your heart or did they have your mind? Your heart and mind go hand in hand when it comes to relationships. However, sometimes people are so focused on the emotions of their heart, and it leads to their mind going along for the ride. It is a way to separate the heart and mind when it comes to be involved with someone. It is almost vital to do so when it comes to relationships.

Your Heart

Your heart controls emotions such as care, love, affection, anger, hurt, pain, sadness, and happiness. It is possible to give someone your heart and not be controlled or manipulated by them. When someone states “I gave them my heart” they are referring to love. It is possible to give someone your heart, get your heart-broken, but still have control over your mind. Your heart controls emotions, and emotions often control your actions. Sometimes people give others their mind, but mistake it for being their heart.

Your Mind

Your mind controls EVERYTHING. Without it, you don’t exist mentally. If you give someone your mind, you give them the ability to manipulate and control you. Some of you may ask why, but my reasoning is the first sentence of this paragraph. Your mind controls EVERYTHING, including your heart and those emotions that I listed above (your heart.) Depending on your mental state, you can either express or conceal those emotions. If someone controls your mind, they will be able to control you and more than likely WILL control you. One way of knowing that someone controls your mind is when you make statements like “I can’t live with them” or “I’m nothing without them.” Once someone has your mind, it’s hard to get it back. Men and women can put someone through pure hell if they have control over their mind.

This happens often. Some of you may be wondering how does this happen, I’ll explain:

Remember I stated that your heart and mind go hand in hand. Some people give others their heart, but they don’t know how to separate their mind when doing so. One of the easiest ways to not separate your heart from your mind is to get involved with someone prematurely before having your mental situated. I know of some people who believe that their mate has their heart, when in fact their mate has their mind.

Example of someone having your heart, but not your mind:

You’re with someone and you’re in love with them. You admire, love, respect, appreciate and care deeply for them. However, you still are capable of using logic when it comes to your relationship. You love your partner, but you CAN live without them. You still practice self-awareness and you have the ability to control your happiness, confidence, self-esteem, value, and self-worth. All of those things are controlled by your mental. If your partner was to pickup and leave you for someone else, you would be hurt, but you still would be able to bounce back and stand on your own two feet because you have control over your mind. Your self-esteem may be a tad bit bruised, but it’s not deeply affected or broken. You are aware that your mate was a part of you, but they didn’t take all of you because your mind still remains. When you have your mind, you can always restore your heart.

Example of someone having your heart and mind:

You know that someone has your mind when everything you do is for the sake of your mate. Your self-esteem, confidence, self-worth, value, livelihood, and well-being depend on your mate. It gets to the point that your mate makes ALL of the decisions for you. It’s okay for your mate to make some of the decisions for you, but once its to the point that they control ALL of your decisions, they have your mind. Once someone has your mind, they can easily have your heart. People often fool themselves saying things like “I can’t leave them, because they have my heart.” However, they are not aware that it’s not your heart that’s making you stay, it’s your mind and the fact that the other person has control over it. How can you make sound and logical decisions when you don’t even have control over your own mind? You can’t! When people are in abusive relationships, they don’t stay because of their heart, they stay because of their mind. They mistake their heart for their mind because their mind is no longer in their possession. Therefore if your mind is non-existent, you’re going to make decisions that are based strictly off of emotion. That’s why people state “I stay because I love them.” Their mate has their mental, so they have nothing but emotion to base their decision on. This is a prime example of how some people lose their minds after their partner leaves them for someone else. It’s because their partner took their mind with them.

You can love someone with your heart and give them all of it, and not be manipulated or controlled. People often fear giving someone their full heart because they believe that if things go wrong, the heartbreak will tear them down. People state things like “protect your heart.” By protecting your heart, your just protecting the ability to express natural emotions. It’s not your heart that you should protect; it’s your mind.

How do you protect your mind from giving your mate control of it?

Make sure that you’re in tune with YOU mentally before you give your heart away. Make sure you have things intact such as self-worth, self-esteem, value, confidence, and self-awareness. Once you’re aware of your “self” and you realize that the purpose of having a mate is to help enhance yourself, not make yourself, then your mind will be protected. I mention many of these things in my new book “The L Factor- Find out what Quality men REALLY want.” I really feel that EVERY WOMAN needs that book in her possession whether she’s married, dating, or single. It’s possible to give someone your heart and recover, but it will take a lot to recover from giving someone your mind, IF you survive. If you’re searching for happiness, a self-esteem boost, confidence, confirmation, or someone to help you realize your self-worth, you’re setting yourself up to give away your mind. That’s dangerous!

Darnell R. Mckinnon


Follow my Facebook Page for Future announcements and Blog updates!


  1. Absolutely right about that. You will always see people use the wrong one in situations of the heart and in general and you’ve definitely cleared that up.

  2. Tricia says:

    This blog is so true because I was like this before. Wow, protect my mind and not my heart. I never looked at it like that. Thanks

  3. Very true Charles and Tricia. I appreciate the support!

  4. keshia says:

    WOWWW!!!! Im speechless…..sadly this was me and bouncing back from it was not easy. This is an outstanding blog and many people need to see this and understand how its important to know who you ar before you get into a relationship.

  5. says:

    hey there please can you tell me how to know when some is is in my head and tryin to play wit my brain i can i protect my brain from some one entering it

  6. Darnell R. Mckinnon says:

    @booksboky. If you feel like you’re being manipulated by your mate, then they are probably playing with your mind. You protect it by being concious of yourself, your decisions, and who you are as a person.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s