The Project (People who are a Challenge)

Posted: August 9, 2010 by Nell in Dating, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: ,

What up! What up! I’m coming off of a very fun weekend celebrating my birthday. I got the opportunity to relax, enjoy myself, which in return freed my mind. I was having a conversation with someone the other day and they were asking me does it bother me that other people blog on relationships. I told them no, because it’s a good thing that everyone is reaching people and sharing knowledge. It’s a great thing actually. Maybe if people continue to get over the head with repetitive blogs then hopefully something will eventually click in their minds.

I decided to write a blog post about “The Project.” I will explain later on what I’m referring to when I use the word project. This blog post is for both male and females because we all are guilty of this.

The Project (People who are a Challenge)

You ever been interested in someone who you wouldn’t normally be interested in? It’s usually someone who you don’t completely desire, but you desire them enough to attempt to upgrade them. In your mind you’re thinking “hmm, if I can change this about them, they will be EXACTLY how I desire them to be.” Some people even take their thinking a step further and think “if only I can have them do this or act this way like so and so.” You indulge in those thoughts because in your eyes, that person is a challenge, which is also what I like to call “The Project.”

What is a project? A project is that person that you either desire to upgrade through upgrading their character or upgrading their looks. Think about the word project, in most cases the word project consist of building. When it comes to individuals, the word project means building them up, upgrading, and improving them. Many people become intrigued from the challenge that comes along with making someone their project. However, you will read throughout this blog that there are many cons that exist with making someone your project.

For some men, a project may be the gorgeous woman who’s not very intelligent or anything going for herself besides her looks. She’s completely dependent and these guys become interested in making her a project solely based on her looks. These guys figure as they can teach her how to be classy, intelligent, and build her character as well. For some women, a project may be the guy that may have a little bit of edge. He may not have his life together, nor any goals, but these women will find the good in him somehow even if it’s something small such as certain facial features or his body stature. These women become intrigued by changing his lifestyle and upgrading him by exposing him to finer things.

Some of you have been someone else’s project and some have made others our own project. There are pros and cons in reference to making someone your project as with everything else. I will first list the pros and then I will state the cons. The cons outweigh the pros when it comes to making someone into your project.


Making someone your project provides a temporary ego boost. It gives you something extra to do with your time. Some people actually enjoy the high that comes along with doing it. The excitement that comes along with changing the way someone looks or behaves can be very exciting. Another pro is that if you are successful at changing your project, you will actually get the person that you initially set out for them to be. You will have the person that you fully desire.


You waste a plethora of time! Anyone who is familiar with my blog know that I’m always promoting the sparing of your time. Making someone a project will eventually result in a waste of time. Sure I stated that you may be able to change your project into the person that you truly desire, but honestly, the ratios of that happening are slim to none. Attempting to change something about something usually has a negative effect. The person who you’re attempting to change may actually resent you once they become a finished project. Another con is that person may become the person that you desire, but they will no longer desire you. It’s too much of a risk involved with making someone into your project.

There is only one way of getting someone to change and that’s by influencing them to want to. People often attempt to make someone their project and try to force change upon them. This usually results in many failed attempts, which eventually leads to frustration and anger. People have to seek room for improvement for themselves in order for change to truly occur. Spare yourself some time and make your own life your project for upgrading.

Darnell R. Mckinnon


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  1. keshia says:

    I think many if us if not every one will be someones project or make someone our project. I think people get a joy out of changing or having a hand to better someone. However, I agree the cons are far to risky to waste the time in trying to change people. Honestly a majority of us to focus on bettering our on lives before we try to change someone else’s.

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