Stop Trying to Appeal to the Masses

Posted: July 25, 2010 by Nell in Dating, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , , ,

Whew! Two weeks! Two weeks and I will Pre-release my book “The L Factor.” In fact, I plan on pre-releasing the book on my birthday. I’m using the word “pre” because the book is not scheduled to and won’t be officially released until later this Fall 2010 (Peep the banner at the top of the site.) I have some marketing business to take care of before I officially release the book to the masses. I’m going to release the book to only a certain amount of people. These people have already been informed that they can purchase it in two weeks. There will be no mass link to purchase the book and there will be no link for the book on my website until the fall. If you want to be on the list to purchase the book in two weeks send me a message through this contact form: here

Stop trying to appeal to the masses

What are you attracted to? Seriously! What is your preference? Do you have a preference? Do you know what you want in a mate? Do you know what qualities that you should look for in a mate? Do you know what kind of person will fit YOU best? What kind of mate do you believe will make you happIER? What do you have to offer and bring to the table for that mate, other than the basics of sex, conversation, and time?

I asked those questions above because every single one of the questions should be answered before you begin to date, not only that, those questions tell you about the person who you truly are. It’s very easy to lose your true identity and desires by trying to appeal to what everyone else desires. Stop and think about how much influence society has on your likes, dislikes, preferences, and desires. Following people in society desires creates a problem because the things that make John Doe or Susie Jane happIER, may not make you happIER even if you believe that they will.

A lot of times people get caught in the hype of other people’s desires. Often times you hear statements like “Stacy has a man who does this, this, and that, plus has this kind of career, drives this kind of car, and makes this amount of money, she’s sooooo happy. I want a man like that!” or “Rick got this bad chick man, she has a banging body, a nice job, got money, her own house, and bring a lot to the table. Man I gotta get me a chick like that!” Sure, Stacy has those things and she probably is soooo happy. However, Stacy’s soooo happy because she has a man that fits “her” desires and wants. Her happiness shouldn’t spark your intrigue in the type of guy that she has. If you feel that you have to get a guy that’s similar to Stacy’s guy in order to be happy in a relationship, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Unfortunately, a lot of people do this often. What often happens is that Rick and Stacy’s friends work so hard to get a person similar to Rick and Stacy’s mate, and when they finally get that person the relationship is a complete failure. Wonder why?

They let their friends (Rick and Stacy) determine what they desire in a mate. How can you base what you desire off of someone else’s desires and happiness that exist in their relationship? Yes, some people have mates that have the exact characteristics that you desire in a partner. I’m not stating that you shouldn’t desire those characteristics. However, the problem is when you model your complete desires and preferences after someone else’s. People do this often and their relationships fail fast.

The internet and society have an effect on people’s desire to appeal to the masses. You ever notice that a lot of people in society desire what everyone else desires. That’s human nature to want something that everyone else wants. Human beings love to compete, and attaining something that others were after creates a sense of value. However, it becomes a problem when people attain the person that everyone else desires and they find out that person doesn’t make them happIER. I’m not hinting that someone who a lot of people in society doesn’t desire will make you happIER, but I’m stating that there is no guarantee that the person who’s desired by most will make you happIER either.

People often email me and they state things like: “I like so and so, but I don’t know what people would think if they see us out together. I’m afraid we wouldn’t look right.” or “he doesn’t have enough swag.” The unfortunate thing about “swag” is that it has been overused and it needs to be buried for good. Swag initially stood for being confident in your own originality, but the word has a new meaning now. When the word first started going around, only the people who were fly, confident, and original were capable of being called such a thing. These days people state that swagger means being considered cool, while basically dressing, talking, and behaving like all of the popular entertainers. I’m just being honest! Swag no longer means original. These days, a guy can have the lowest self-esteem on the planet, but if he looks, talks, and acts like so and so, he has swag. With that being said, who cares if someone doesn’t have enough “swag” as long as their confident in themselves. People are fickle in society, which means that their preferences, desires, and needs constantly change. What’s considered to be cool today will not be cool in 5 years and what’s looked at as having swag today, will not be looked at as having swag (hopefully they retire the word) in 5 years. Be with the person that makes you happIER.

As stated, there are a lot of people who try too hard to appeal to the masses. They dress, behave, and talk similar to the people who many people in society desire the most. There’s so many imitation Lil Wayne’s, Fabolous’, Nicki Minaj’s, Beyonce’s, and whoever else walking around. Then these imitators get mad when they only attract a certain group of people. If you want to attract the masses or people who desire you for who you are, stop trying to appeal to the masses and be yourself, honestly. The best way to get a lot of people to have a genuine attraction to you is to be yourself. That’s it! Be yourself and you’ll attract plenty sooner than later. In order to find out who you are, scroll back up to those questions at the beginning of this blog. I say this because if you don’t know who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you desire in a mate, you’ll never find complete happiness in a relationship.

People in society are too fickle to let them determine your desires or who you are. Follow your true desires!

Darnell R. Mckinnon

  1. keshia says:

    Good blog…..I agree with you swag has lost its meaning and truely needs to be retired FOR GOOD! People spend so much time trying to please people who don’t mean anything or who are fake and phony themselves that they lose sight and a sense of who they really are.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s