Posted: July 15, 2010 by Nell in Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , ,

There’s one thing that will get under a hater’s skin. It’s one of the few things that haters fear other than success. That thing is called: Growth. I dislike using the word “hater” because it’s thrown around so often in today’s society. However, I decided to use it in this blog because whenever there is growth, there will be haters. Haters will appear out of nowhere, no matter if your growth pertains to career, character, knowledge, or anything else that represents progress in life.

Over the past couple of years I have learned a valuable lesson. That lesson is that you have to watch the people who you are close to more than the people who you consider to be your enemies or opposers. It’s the people who you are close to that have the greatest ability to harm you. I previously mentioned people who you’re close with being the ones that you have to watch out for because more than likely some of them will become your haters once they sense your growth.

The reason why your growth becomes a problem is because your growth is your growth, not ours. This is one of the reasons why people like to throw the word “loyalty” around when one of their friends or loved ones becomes successful and leaves them behind. Growth is tough, because growth usually means that you have outgrown a specific mindset or lifestyle. If you grow and your people in your immediate circle doesn’t, it leaves you with a tough decision to make. Some people decide to leave those who they outgrow and some decide to stay.

The unfortunate thing about growth is that it has ruined many friendships and relationships. Growth will continue to do the same in the future. You ever had a person or people who hates the person who you are in the present so much that they constantly live in your past and bring up how you used to be, how you used to act, or what you used to do? They never bring up the positive memories, instead they bring up what they would consider to be the negative memories, the memories that don’t matter anymore. Or do they?

Here’s the reality of this. If you’re the same person today, that you were in 2008, you’re doing something wrong. You’re not progressing. When people tell me “Darnell you changed so much,” I take it as a compliment. You see, experience aids growth and that is the reason why I said no one should be the same today as they were in 2008. You experience and learn something new everyday whether you choose to realize it or not. If you’re not progressing in life you are regressing. When you don’t learn from experiences or mistakes of the past it causes you to regress. Also, things such as hanging around the same unproductive and negative minded crowd, carrying along the same bad habits and mindset, doing the same things, and acting the same way that you did in the past puts a damper on your growth for the present and future.

Growth is also an issue with people who you used to be in relationships with. The reason why many of them are not fans of your growth is because they can no longer benefit from it. That’s a reason why many ex’s love to judge you off of the way you used to behave or treat them. They’re blind to your improvements because your improvements no longer benefit them. As long as they can hang a dark cloud over your head with your past and use it against you, they will, and that’s no matter how much you have grown.

An important thing that I’ve been learning as of late is that a lot of people are afraid of growth because they fear what others will think and say after they display it. However, growth is about the betterment of you, and if those that are close with you do not support or appreciate you while you’re in your pursuit of growth, then maybe they don’t belong to have a place in your life. So with that said, I encourage all of you to pursuit growth. Who cares about what people who don’t appreciate or respect your growth has to say, it just proves that their anti-YOU anyways. Thank them in return for making it obvious!

Darnell R. Mckinnon



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  1. Tahirah says:

    Good Blog, Growth is needed can’t progress with Growth, I can honestly say Growth does effect friendship and relationship! Growth is a good look on you!

  2. Keshia says:

    This Blog is very powerful…many people fear and hold back from GROWTH becasue they are afraid of what their “friends or family” will say. They want to be considered Loyal but that is when being loyal goes WRONG!!!! Honestly at the end of the day you have to do what is BEST for you. Great Job Darnell you are realllllyyy helping people keep up the good work.

  3. Myschel says:

    Growth is important and you made some really good statements. I’m proud of ya

  4. Jennifer says:

    The blog means alot to me I honestly can agree with everything in it. It is true if you are still the same person you were in 2008 than there is something wrong. Thanks so much for sharing this blog.

  5. Thanks, I appreciate all of your comments. I know that growth is very important to me and I’m glad to see that it is important for you all as well.

  6. Billie J. says:

    Interesting & true. I agree. It’s unfortunate that so many people are afraid of growth/change. I embrace it. Nice blog Mr. McKinnon. Keep up the good work!

  7. Angel McKinnon says:

    These things are very true. You try to help those closest to you or even those you want to see do well and in some instances I find that “they hate you for it”. Then when they see you benefiting and profiting from this frame of mind, at that point they want in.
    Often times the road to sucess can be a lonely one, especially when surrounded by such a people who either “don’t listen to anyone” even when they know how they are operating is making very little or no progress OR they want you “to give” things to them that you worked hard for, for nought.
    If I don’t mess with you when I’m down and out, what makes you think that I will when I’m up and in?!
    Great points Mr. McKinnon, I look forward to reading your new book!!

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