It takes A LOT of Discipline for a man to NOT be a Player

Posted: June 2, 2010 by Nell in Dating
Tags: , ,

What up people! I hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day weekend and got something accomplished. The weather is breaking and that usually means that a lot of people are on the prowl whether involved or single. I’ve been finishing up on some things for my The L Factor Book site (Click on the link to view it.) I decided to write today’s blog from a male’s perspective. Honestly I’m getting a little jaded with writing repetitive blog post on relationships, when it all boils down to self-improvement. But I will share the knowledge in order to aid some of you that desire it.

It takes A LOT of Discipline for a Man to NOT be a Player

I know the title is a little unpleasant for some of you females who are involved or married to read, but it’s true. A few blogs ago I stated that all men are capable of being faithful, and that it depends on the woman and whether he fully desires her. Well…

When a male (That’s about self-improvement and progress) reaches a certain point in his life he begins to gain a plethora of options in women. It doesn’t matter if he’s black, white, hispanic, asian, etc. Once he reaches a certain status, he’s going to be able to literally pick which women he wants to be involved with. It doesn’t matter if he’s an Athlete, Entertainer, or Career man. Of course this type of status usually comes along with age, but there are a rising amount of young cats that’s getting it when it comes to status.

There’s two different types of men in terms of getting with women.

-You have the guys who women chase. These are the guys who decide which women they want to get involved with. These guys always have a plethora of options. These are the guys who have the ability to date the women that they desire.

-You have the guys who chase women. These are the guys that women decide whether or not they want to be with. They have options, but their options are not always the women that they fully desire.

Some of you may state that the guy that women chase has to have more discipline in order to not be a player, but in most cases that’s false. I hate hearing people often state “He’s an Athlete, she should have known that he was going to cheat.” They state that as if the average ordinary Joe Blow from the neighborhood wouldn’t cheat because his options are fewer. Actually it’s not the fact of him being an Athlete that made him a cheater, it’s his lack of discipline that did.

Some women may call me stupid after I state this, but it actually takes the guy who has less options of women that they desire, more discipline to NOT be a player. Here’s why:

Unless a guy is a complete lame he is capable of dating at least one woman. Here’s the issue though, she may not actually be the kind of woman who he desires. As with anything that’s low on quality options, he’s liable to accept her and any other women who are not what he desires in order to have a woman around. The unfortunate thing for women is that this guy that I’m discussing is the average male. No dude is going to admit that he’s this dude, but deep down inside he knows. Anybody can go around bragging about how many women they have on the team, but very few men can go around bragging about having a team of women who he desires. It will take extreme discipline for this man to not be a player because when you don’t have what you desire in your stable, it usually creates an urge, temptation, and desire to get it one day. If the woman that this kind of guy desires approaches him, 9/10 times he’s going to take the bait. I always tell women to make sure that the guy that she is involved with desires her completely. This is one of the reasons why!

It takes the guy who has reached a certain level of status and success a lot of discipline to not be a player because of habits. If you’re used to having things your way when it comes to women, it’s hard to break it. The benefit that this guy has is that he has women who he desires already at his disposal so he won’t be as tempted as the guy who only has options that desires him. However, if this guy lacks integrity, in which some of them do, it will be difficult for him to stop being a player. Also, some of these guys were once the guy who only had options that desired him, so he’s just beginning to explore his options of women that he desires.

People can continue to write stupid books about having a man do this, and do this and that for a man in order to keep him, be a freak in the sheets and lady in the streets, and massage his back and cook his meal. Blah, blah, blah! but honestly, if he doesn’t desire you, none of that will keep him faithful to you. Few, if any men will commit to you if he does not desire you. The exceptions are men who have a great sense of integrity in their character.

This is why you should only get seriously involved with men that fully desire you!

I’m not stating that status is the only thing that aids you with getting women that you desire. However, I am stating that the kind of women that MOST men desire usually come along with status. When I state status I’m not referring to money, I’m referring to Quality. Call me bias, but somewhere dudes who are reading this is saying he’s right!


  1. Keshia says:

    hmmmm very interesting indeed…I completely understand the desire for the person your w/however instead of CHEATING the man can always LEAVE. I just feel that people in general shouldn’t be rewarded for being FAITHFUL bc they are suppose to be FAITHFUL in a relationship.

  2. Stacy says:

    Hey when is this book coming Darnell. I’m getting impatient over here lmao.

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