Until Then…

Posted: May 11, 2010 by Nell in Personal, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , ,

So I am almost near where I planned on being at the beginning of 2010. It may seem like a small feat for some, but it’s huge for me. Book #2 is just around the corner for me and I’m still fairly young. I’m a 26 yr old Black male from Buffalo, NY, born and raised. It sounds cliché, but if you’re from my city they count you out when it comes to making a statement in the world. They state that black males only aspire to influence people through music and sports. Well, that’s a lie! They just didn’t give us the right type of spotlight yet, but I’m going to take mine and I suggest all of the other young men who have careers in fields other than sports and music do the same. Am I knocking sports and music? Of course not! I played sports and I did music up until the end of 2008 so I can’t knock it.

However, this is about making a statement outside of those two avenues. When I wrote my first book Tug of Conflict it was more of a journey to find me than writing a book. When I wrote that book, my back was against the wall. I had no money, no hope, no faith, and no aspirations. I crashed because I made a switch in my career and lifestyle. No one knew what I was going through during that time except my family, my girlfriend at that time, and me. But somehow, I figured out how to get it done. If someone were to ask me how I wrote a 200 page book about Young men and their mental battles that they experience, my honest answer would be adversity. I wrote that book at a moment when I was experiencing the Tug of Conflict myself. I knew nothing about writing a book. I just wrote what was on my mind based off of the experiences of me and those around me when I was growing up. In fact there were a lot of grammatical errors in the first book that I wrote (their now fixed.) But although I knew nothing about writing a book, I got it done. That’s just a major sign that ANYBODY can do ANYTHING that they put their mind too. Don’t take that statement lightly.

People always ask me if my books are fiction when I tell them that I’m an author. When I tell them no, they look at me funny. They don’t expect black men to be able to write self-help or any book other than poetry and novels. That’s false though, because at least three of my associates are young black men who have written self-help books. Novels are cool, but that’s not my lane. Maybe I will go down that lane in the future after I see more of the world and get more experience as a writer. Then you have people who state anybody can write a book, as a way of discrediting me. They’re right, anybody can write a book. I encourage anybody who can to write one, but I’m going to take my credit for that 200 page book that has helped many.

So now I have my back against the wall once again. It’s nothing new to me. The process in writing this book has been very stressful till the point that it started to effect my personal relationships. I was battling myself over the material for this book. They told me that a book similar to mine has been written before, that’s a lie! They tell me that some women and feminist are going to dislike me because of what’s going to be revealed in this book. Cool, if everyone likes The L Factor I am doing something wrong. However, I have a strong feeling that more women will appreciate it than hate it. They say that I’m not a relationship expert, guru, or psychologist so I have no right to write a book like this. My answer to all of that is: I will let the book speak for itself! This is my last blog post before I release my book. Enjoy all of the post that are currently posted. I appreciate all of you guys feedback and support, I really do!

Here’s an excerpt from the book

I had a female friend who I will keep anonymous, that was very frustrated about her dating life with men. Her frustration stemmed from things in her love life not going well and it spiraled down into her life outside of dating. She was young with a successful career, independent, smart, caring, and gave her all to the guys that she had been involved with. She dated all different kinds of guys in her previous relationships. She dated guys who were, nice, broke, players, rich, Athletes, Entrepreneurs, married men, men with multiple mothers of their children, men with no kids, men with status, and this was all in her 28-yrs of living.

All of her relationships, except with one guy, ended in negative results. He was one of the last guys that she dated. She did not want to date another guy after him unless it was him or a guy similar to him. He was the one guy that she dated and wished that things wouldn’t have ended. He wasn’t the perfect fairy tale guy, but it was something about him that had all of her interest. He wasn’t the rich guy, or the player, Athlete, nice guy, bad guy, broke guy, guy with multiple mothers of his children, and he wasn’t married. However, he had some of the characteristics of all of the guys listed above. It was something different that separated him from all of the guys that she had ever dealt with, he was a quality man.

The relationship with the quality guy and my friend did not work out because he felt that she was not ready to be his companion at the time that they were dating. She desired him, but he did not desire her because she no longer valued herself as a result of all of her prior relationships. She asked him one day out of curiosity what he desires in a woman. He was man enough to tell her with clarity and she made it her mission to make those improvements. She did not do it because he told her to. Instead, she did it because she wanted to and realized that those improvements would better her life overall.

Recently, the guy ended up getting married to another woman. But my friend still has the utmost love and respect for him till this day. Although she did not successfully acquire him after making the improvements that he desired, she gained the attention of quality men and became an option for many of them. My friend is now happily engaged to what she refers to as a quality man of her own. She constantly boasts about how her life has never been better and that she’s currently getting the best out of life.

I will reveal some of the things that the guy told her in reference to what he desired in a woman throughout this book. There is one specific thing that he told her and that is one of the main characteristics that quality men really desire in women. Once you learn and apply these characteristics, appealing to and acquiring quality men will not be an issue. This book is for the women who may or may not be like my friend, but are curious and willing to find out the realities of what quality men desire.

Ladies, this book is for you. If you truly want to know what Quality men desire, the answers are in this book. After you’re done reading it, you can confirm whether it’s true or not with “Quality men” and the women who date or are married to them. This book is for ALL women, whether you’re married, engaged, divorced, dating, or single.


(CLICK HERE) The L Factor Website


(CLICK HERE) Tug of Conflict Website


Darnell R. Mckinnon

  1. Keshia Johnson says:

    Keep up the good work Darnell I am highly anticipating “The L Factor”

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