^^^I’m sorry ladies, but someone has to tell the truth. This type of man (the perfect man) does not exist. Anyone who knows me personally is aware that I’m a realist. I don’t like fantasy and I barely like dreams unless I’m in pursuit of living them. Most guys are realist when it comes to women because there wasn’t a fairy tale that was sold to us throughout our childhood. We don’t have a “Perfect Princess” or the perfect woman that we have fairy tales about for the most part. We are also aware that if we do not have anything to bring to the table, top-notch women are not going to feel sorry for us and join our pity party eventually making us their mate. There are some exceptions, some guys do have fairy tales of the perfect woman existing and while I can’t knock that I will say that they’re more than likely setting their selves up for heartbreak. The thing about being aware of reality is even if you dream of being a CEO of Fortune 500 company you are thinking about the cons that are going to come along with that as well. Do you stop pursuing that dream? No, but you’re at least aware that there are pros and cons with everything. I’m not stating that females are not realist. There are some females that get it, but there are a lot of women who don’t because fantasy is constantly being sold to them through fiction novels, films and phony men who pretend to be Superheroes. Some of you may dislike me after this post, but somebody has to state it.

I like to have conversations with females just to see where their mental is concerning the topic of the perfect man. Most of the females who I have this discussion with oppose my opinion, which I don’t mind. They state that it’s hard to change a mindset that has been existing since childhood. Their way of thinking concerning fairy tales has become habitual. In my late teens I used to find it odd that females who were in my age group still believed in fairy tales. I thought that it stopped there until I reached my current age. I have female associates who are in their early 20’s to low 40’s and no matter what their ages are some of them still believe that the perfect man does exist and they will not settle until they come across him. The only problem with doing so is that they’re more than likely setting their selves up for failure with finding a mate.

As a male, you are taught at an early age if you do not have something to offer a female, you will more than likely have to settle for less. Guys knew as adolescence that the top-notch females in their age range wanted guys that had a lot to offer. So what did guys do in their younger days in order to attain a top-notch female? They went out and got fly clothing, they made sure they had their appearance together brushing their hair to get 360 waves, made sure they at least had some money and they made sure their mouthpiece was together. In fact, as guys get older it gets harder to attain a top-notch female. We are all very aware of that. Once you hit your early to mid 20’s most males know that they need to have their stuff together in order to be chosen by a top-notch female. We are very aware that we have to bring a number of things to the table and not be idle in order to do so.

Maybe some of you females don’t understand me when I state that the perfect man does not exist. I’m going to help you at least understand what I am referring to. You may not agree with me right now while you’re reading this blog, but as time goes on you very well may start to.

Earlier in this post I stated that I had conversations with some of my female associates about the perfect man. Their definitions of what they considered to be a perfect man were similar. The most common answer that I received from them was they believed that there is a man out there that is perfect for them. I then asked them to explain and they stated that perfect for them meaning that he fits the picture of everything they desire with flaws at the minimal. That’s fair, very fair but there is no such thing as a flawless man no matter how much he fits the frame of your ideal man. One thing women should realize is that every man is flawed. Every man has flaws whether it be external or internal. The thing that majority of fiction movies don’t show you is life after the ‘Happily ever after’ Marriage. They don’t show the disagreements, the cheating, the drama or the tension. No matter how good or ideal something is in life, there are going to be issues that exist whether large or small. Stating “I want a man who does this, this, this, and that” and not expecting any cons or flaws will set you up for heartbreak.

There are two ways that I’m going to break this down. Below I give two examples of the current fairy tales that a lot of women have

The Fairy tale of having an idle mate that comes with zero flaws or issues

Some females get in a relationship with a man who they consider their “dream mate” and don’t expect any flaws. And the moment he shows his flaws, they’re out the door and quitting on him because he didn’t live up to their fantasy. Many men currently believe loyal women do not exist anymore because of this. Just because your ideal mate is 6’3″, muscular, a lawyer making 6 figures, educated, 5 bedroom house, 3 luxury vehicles, respectful, no kids, and caring does not mean you’re not going to experience issues with him. I believe women who expect the perfect man place men at a disadvantage because as a male, no matter how much you have your stuff together, there is always going to be some flaw that your woman will notice because of her expectations. Hence why many women who still believe in the perfect man are currently single, Independent, and happy (so they say.) We are not Superman ladies, we all have flaws. And some of you dudes need to tuck your capes in for trying to play the Superman role leading women on by providing a false fantasy. To all of my women readers, I will proudly let you know right now, I’m not Superman baby!

The Fairy tale that your ideal mate will rescue you

Fact: Speaking of Superman; A Quality dude is not going to rescue you. I’m not stating that he’s not going to approach you or find you attractive. However, I am stating that he’s not going to take you out of your life full of negative energy that is accompanied with miserable opinions and bring you into his healthy prosperous lifestyle. A man with money and no standards will, but not a Quality man. There’s a huge difference just in case some of you are not aware. If you rescue yourself and get yourself together then there is no need to be rescued by a man, understand me? When you have your stuff together as a woman, these type of men will approach you because there will always be at least an attraction. These type of men won’t be hard to attain either. You will not have to depend on fairy tales in order to make what you desire come true. If I tell you what I mean by having your stuff together, I will be giving away parts of my L Factor Part 1 book and as bad as I want to share it with you, you have to wait until the book is available. Trust me this book is going to change your LIFE if you apply what you read, meaning that it’s not only going to improve your chances of attaining a Quality man; it’s going to improve your chances of attaining everything else that you desire as well. One thing about me is that I’m not here selling dreams. Notice the key word above is apply, nothing good comes easy. I don’t sell dreams, I sell reality.

The habitual mindset filled with fairy tales have led many women to believe that they do not have to bring anything more to the table than their goods and looks in order to attain a top-notch man, that’s fiction indeed. Just as men are expected to bring things to the table in order to attain a top-notch woman, females have to do the same in order to attain a top-notch man. I’m not telling you to kill your fantasy of your ideal man ladies. However, I am telling you to at least make sure that you’re getting yourself together while you fantasize. And not only that, when you do attain him, don’t expect him to be flawless. An idle woman who’s stuck in a fantasy about a top-notch man rescuing her will be just that, a fantasy.

Darnell R. Mckinnon

I changed the color of the L Factor Part 1. Hope y’all like it. I appreciate all of your support!

I created a NEW Facebook fan page yesterday. Be sure to become a fan to get updates about my book release and NEW blog post!



  1. Kesia says:

    EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!! This blog is the truth. It is rather sad because when we were young girls reading Cinderella and Snow white we had NO idea how these fairytales were seeping into our minds and playing a huge part in how we find or respond to our “Prince Charming” What is even more sad is that we are now adults and still believing in FLAWLESS men to come rescue us so we can live the “PERFECT LIFE” Thanks Darnell this blog was a reality check for many women to understand that men make mistakes just like we do and that they can’t be our SUPERMAN we have to learn to get our ish together ladies and save ourselves.

  2. Kim says:

    I so wish that you could see me applauding right now. I have this discussion with my lady friends all the time. This is usually our topic of discussion over dinner. I’m going to pass this along to EVERYBODY lol 🙂

  3. Appreciate your feedback Kim and Keshia. Also props to Tazz Daddy for showing me love for this post on his site. http://www.tazzdaddy.com/

  4. Yashika says:

    Bravo again, Darnell. This blog is one of many that all hopeful, hopeless romantic women should read. With the media’s contortion on relationships as far as perfect relationships, there needs to be someone to retract those images….. and I think you just did that.

  5. Cindy says:

    Your blogs always keep me interested lots of interesting facts that makes all of us open our eyes and ears…keep it coming!

  6. Siquoyia says:

    I really enjoyed your blog Darnell alot of truth involved!! Keep them coming!!!

  7. Appreciate that Yashika, Cindy and Siquoyia. I appreciate the good reviews and the opposing reviews that I’ve been getting. The people who have the opposing reviews are free to leave a comment on the blog as well. I do receive them in my inbox, often. I get called a Misogynist which is odd because if you read my blogs, they’re geared towards helping with assisting women and men. If I hate women why would I try to help them? But anyways I’m not against opposing views. It comes with the territory

  8. monique says:

    Darrell i agree to a point, a woman shouldnt beleieve that there is a man who is perfect there is nobody on earth that is perfect, that goes for men and woman. Some woman needs a reality check. You cant always depend on man to be this nice n shiny armour. It dosent work like that it never did n it will never happen. The only thing i can say is what i look for in a man is that he has an education; either graduate from high school or at least have a degree. No offense i dont want a man who has no ambition for himself. He needs to have something to fall back on. Money, clothes, house, cars, etc are all materialistic they will be there but not us.
    Darrell i applaued u for this blog. Keep it up.

  9. Dionne says:

    Very interesting point of view. Well said….

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