Do Men Really Respect Easy Women?

Posted: December 19, 2008 by dominojump in Dating, Personal, Self Help/ Motivation
Tags: , , ,

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I received an email from a female who stated that she likes my blogs, but she would like me to make a blog about what men look for in women. Just about everything that is said about what men look for is recycled. What I am going to discuss is recycled as well, but I am writing from a man’s point of view that probably can assist some females. Too many times I come across articles online where a woman is speaking on what a man wants. I decided that I will give a man’s point of view. I am not going to be bias and choose sides in the post either.

I decided to write about Jumpoffs/Easy women in order to clear some things up for some females. If your a woman who only deal with guys for sexual gratification and pleasure, this post is not for you. So the question is, do men really respect Jumpoffs/easy women? Most men will tell you that the answer is no, although some may disagree. Honestly we “love” jumpoffs/easy women, but 9 times out of 10 we do not respect them enough in order to put them in the “Settle down with” category. There are some exceptions though, because some guys settle for less in order to achieve instant sexual gratification and they don’t mind dating/marrying these type of women either. However, I am not referring to those type of men in this post. I know plenty of guys who have girlfriends and wives that were jumpoffs and easy women when they began dating because of the desire for instant sexual gratification. So you may be wondering, what is a easy woman? Easy is throwing yourself at a man, giving it to us without us even having to put forth any effort, or just coming off as being desperate.

First, I wouldn’t put a jumpoff or easy woman in the “Settle down with” category because I believe there is a confidence/self esteem issue on their end. Your “goods” will not impress me that much, you have to bring more to the table. But thats just my take and this post is not just about me, it’s about men in general. Men who have things going for theirselves along with confidence and self-worth, will not date or marry a woman who they consider easy or a jumpoff. Why? Because we do not respect things that come easy, but neither do women. Now there may be some women reading this and they may be wondering why some guys only call them to come over late night, never want to go out on dates with them or be seen in the public eye together, and only want to do things with them that relates to sex. The answer is that more than likely you are in the jumpoff category, and it is similar to a woman’s “friendzone” category, it’s hard to get out of. But anyways there are a lot of females around who believe that they can take a man away from his wife, girlfriend, or other women who he is involved with because she’s willing to give him the goods quicker and easier; And according to her, her “goods” are better than the women or woman who he is involved with. One thing that those women fail to realize is the fact that you can’t win a man over by the “goods” that’s in between your legs. Taking the man temporarily from his wife, girlfriend, or other women may be possible, but it will not be enough to keep us. I find it humorous when I meet a woman and she brags about how good her “goods” are. I am assuming that those women don’t believe that other females state the same thing as well.

But back to the question of this post, the answer is NO. We may respect easy women as human beings and as women, but we do not respect easy women as “settle down with” material; Real men that is. I am skeptical about things that are free, discounted, and easy, so why wouldn’t I feel the same way about a woman who’s easy. Many women may believe that men have the mindset of “If she did that for me with ease, she probably do the same for other dudes.” Those same women will state that they only did something easy with us because they like us more, in order to use a smoke screen. While the statement of those women not being “easy” with other men may be true, we get more of a confirmation if anything. That confirmation is that we will not throw you in the girlfriend/wife potential category because at the end of the day you still were “EASY.” You will automatically get thrown in the Jumpoff/convenient smash/I’ll call whenever I am horny category. Now it may sound harsh, but I am being real about the situation because I was asked to give my honest opinion.

If you want a man to respect you as settle down with material, you have to carry yourself that way. Most men will sleep with a woman on the first day that we met her. But chances are we will not throw her in the potential wife/girlfriend category. Most men would sleep with a woman who they know are constantly sleeping with other guys, but she will not be thrown in the wife/girlfriend category. Just like females have Categories, men do as well. Some women believe that if they “put it on us” the right way, they will have us wrapped around their fingers, That’s a lie. Sure some men may be wrapped around your fingers, but they will be wrapped around yours and other women as well. Hey, I am just being honest. Some females even believe that their doing their selves good service by being easy and sleeping with a guy without him putting in effort. Sure, you may get up to an hour of pleasure, but you lose a lifetime of respect from that guy. Not total respect, but girlfriend/wife material respect.

Men respect a challenge from women. Not the phony “Playing hard to get” challenge, but a genuine challenge. A lot of women these days pretend to be a challenge, but most guys can see right thru that and then we lose respect for that female. That loss of respect gives most guys the urge to throw the woman in the jumpoff category anyways. A female shouldn’t have to come off as stuck up, a snob, sadity, or a diva in order to be a challenge. To most men, playing stuck up is actually a sign that your easy and using a cover up. So you may be wondering, what is a genuine challenge? A genuine challenge is a female who knows her worth, but does not go over board in order to prove that she does. Some of the females that I met who were genuine challenges had some of the best personalities around. Friendly, classy, can hold an intelligent conversation, knew their self worth, confident, sexual, but not easy. On the other hand, some of the most “easy” women whom I have met had some of the most arrogant, snobby, sadity, and disrespectful personalities around. Their personality was working as their coverup for their easy side, but I saw right thru it just like most guys would. With that being said, we see through the false personas ladies. Am I stating that you cannot be sexual or sleep with a guy who you like? No because sleeping with a guy does not make you easy, but I am stating that we respect women who are not easy more than women who are. If you want to be respected and treated like girlfriend/wife material, carry yourself like it. It may be hard to accept it, but it’s fact.

I may receive some backlash from this post, but majority of the people who may send backlash at me will more than likely be in the same catergories that I was referring above. But honestly, these days some women are content with being jumpoffs/easy women and are only in it for sexual gratification and pleasure. They believe that it’s their way to get “Even” with guys, but little do they know their hurting their selves more than us because chances are we have already threw them in the “Jumpoff” category. This post is not for those type of females.

When I wrote this, the men I am referring to are the men who are about their business and know their self worth. I am not referring to the dudes that settle for less or guys who accept anything that has eyes. I would not have wrote this blog if I were not asked to. It’s not because I am selfish, but it’s because I believe that some women have their issues, problems, and wounds from dating men because they inflict them theirselves.


Darnell R. Mckinnon

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Comments
  1. ms lim says:

    i’m a female,in my late 20s,suffers from anxiety(caused by unsupportive abusive family),because of the way i carry myself n behave(due to anxiety),i have many times been misjudged by men to be easy,arrogant or pretentious.
    there r many men who r worthless fucking sons of bitches themselves-arrogant expectations of women,mistreat women to gain a sense of power etc etc etc cos your penis is soooo little n useless hahahahaha
    I NO LONGER WILL CARE ABOUT WHETHER ANY MEN WANTS ME OR NOT OR THINK IF I CARRY MYSELF TO BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM.I KNOW WHO I AM-NEITHER EASY NOR CONSERVATIVE.
    FOR ALL THESE MEN WHO THINK N TREATED ME WITH CONTEMPT ,WHO MADE ME FEEL EMBARRASSED N BAD ABOUT MYSELF,TO HELL U GO!U WILL ROT IN HELL AFTER U DIE.
    TO ALL U MEN-A LOVELY BIG PERMANENT FUCK U!!!!!

  2. Li says:

    Thank you! This is the best write up on this subject that I’ve read. I’m a 30 year woman and absolutely agree and value the honesty.

  3. elma says:

    Wow!! This is really great. Reading this article has been very eye opening to me. I am a 17 year old girl who has been behaving like a “jumpoff” for the last two years, but reading this really wants to make me change. I am from Puerto Rico and these guys really have no mercy when speaking their minds. Thank you so much!

  4. LCFR says:

    That is so true but unfortunately majority of women are not marriage or long term material – Thank Feminism for this ladies.

    Either way it is great for us because we dont have to work at getting sex, we dont have to commit, we dont have to marry them and most of all we dont have to loose our assets when we divorce.

    All we need is the male fertility pill and we have totally contributed to women’s liberation LOL!

  5. Christie says:

    Im 15 years old and what you wrote here is a reality check for slags. Thats all! Its very good & you have a good look on things.

  6. Queen says:

    I have one question, ” Wouldn’t the men be considered as jumpoffs also?” I mean it sounds as if the double standard still exists, A man can have a convenient jumpoff and a woman can have only between 1-8 (being nice) partners in a lifetime and she is considered easy. So basically you are telling women to allow a man to whore around. It is wrong for a man or woman to be anybody’s jumpoff.

  7. Can you explain to me HOW and WHERE I’m telling women to let men be whores?

  8. EV says:

    I totally agree with you. A man will test you out and see if he can sex you and how fast he can get it but if you’re not willing to give it up fast as he would like he will have more respect for you. If you do come across a man who tries to sleep with you and then no longer wants to speak with you because you didn’t give it up on the first date then he was a piece of shit in the first place.

  9. Megan says:

    It’s implied that you are encouraging men to be whores. Just look at the title of your piece…Do Men Really Respect Easy Women? You didn’t say some men or easy men or virtuous men. You just said men.

    If nothing else, I think that articles like this remind us that the double standard still exits and should compel women to be concerned about the number of sex partners their prospective mates have. This quality is very important to me and I have no issue with holding a man to this standard. Remember ladies, men won’t act like gentlemen until you make them.

  10. Sasha says:

    I have no issue with McKinnon or his answer. My issue is with the dumb bunny who felt the need to ask the question at all as it speaks to the mentally disenfranchised state that many lesser women remain in. As far as women have advanced in terms of “liberation” the double standard still exists and will continue to exist as long as 1) women refuse to respect themselves and hold men to a standard and 2) women allow themselves to be held by men to ridiculous standards. An example would be the number of partners a woman has had. For some men, his SO having one partner will be too much to bear even though he has had 30+ partners. Women, in this case, should begin to connect a man’s value as a long-term/marriage partner to what is between his legs just as men have done with women and still continue to do even today. This would aid in decreasing the double standard by judging promiscuity alone instead of based up the gender of the person being whorish.

    And so that there is no confusion, i do practice what I preach. I have dumped men without being intimate with them for having what I deem to be too many partners.

    Lastly, Megan, you are absolutely correct! The title itself does imply that McKinnon is encouraging and accepting of male whores. Though I am not excusing this, I feel very comfortable accounting for this by saying its the nature of the beast…note my sarcasm.

  11. Kim says:

    I always knew this in the bottom of my heart to be true. I’ve never been easy and I’ve had plenty of advances that i I’ve just turned away. I look down on men that are quick to roll in the hay, I think they’re easy. Haha it’s funny. A lot of my friends say I’m a prude, I just have self respect and know what I want and know my comfort levels. In today’s society anything you want is just a click of a button. Instant gratification. Thank you for your article.

  12. Anonymous says:

    The problem with the article above and that way of thinking is that it implies that women have control over whether men decide to respect them or not. I have plenty of respect for myself and I was sexually assaulted. I told the guy I didn’t want to do anything and he did it anyway. Men are taught that women only say “No” to be “hard to get” or because they are bitches or arrogant. Men are sent the message that if we say “no”, it might actually mean “yes.” Men are taught that they DESERVE sex just because they were born with a penis. When will we start teaching men that women do not control men’s behavior? Women only control their own behavior. Also, when will anyone here ever comment on male self-esteem? Why is it that men feel they are not valuable unless they get many women to have sex with them? I call THAT low self-esteem. It is also unfair the way the article above makes it seem as though any woman who wants to have sex is automatically someone who a guy can disrespect with good conscience. Sometimes I really hate the world I live in.

  13. Yanma says:

    Eh, I agree with the post, but I say the reverse is true as well. Why is it that you don’t create a post about men who sleep around?Eventually, they want to settle down, bcause we all know people are not made to do that forever. We are made to bond, and love. I wouldn’t like hearing that my man has had 56 partners, when I am the type of person who actually cares about the people I take to bed. It’s not a good feeling– it’s like, women are expendable (like kleenexes) to him.
    If you are not willing to argue about easy men as well, than I’d have to say that these “easy” women you speak of are just having fun. They’re not “hurting” themselves, they’re sexual beings enjoying their sexual nature. To say that they are trying to keep up with men is wishful thinking; don’t flatter yourself. Women do what they *want* to do, just like every other human being. Period. I’m not flaming you, I’m telling you the truth.

  14. Yanma says:

    Also, you call these men that sleep with easy women and toss them away “real men.” Haha! You couldn’t be more wrong. That is not what it is to respect someone as a human being. I’m sorry, but they need to get more intelligent people writing blogs. They really do.

  15. joe says:

    Interesting article: I have to agree. As a male I do not respect easy women, although have ‘hooked up’ with them. This article and comment, is not an attack, merely how it is from mens point of view, so women reading this should relax and not attack the writer; he’s trying to help you understand how we think. I definietly respect a girl who respects her body more, and doesn’t put out for any guy who shows interest. The double standard exists with men and women, it is what is is – For women, Sex and the city has empowered women to think they can sleep around and its all good fun, but they will be the ones single going to the clubs at 40 and as the writer points out, you lose respect in the long run. Men will try to get action all the time, we are testing the women – to see if the’re up to what we want in a long term partner – the early easy sex can be a lot of fun, but in terms of long relationship it is a real turn off having a real easy girl, the guy will get bored and look for a new challenge. The other week a friend of mine saw some girls at a club looking at him, he went over, only said hi and introduced himself -he left his number on the table and walked away – and one of them sms’d him within 30 minutes saying ‘want to meet up later at my place’ – basically spreading her legs for the guy – instantly he thought, if she is that easy i don’t want it because she probably does this every night she goes out, even though she was very attractive. He said he would call her later… never did… met some other girls and when the easy girl called him later asking him to come back with her he told her didn’t like easy girls and that he finds it unattractive. Regardless of the ideals of equality, there will always be double standards for men and women and women will only devalue themselves by being easy. At the end of the day women have the power to say yes or no… so in a sense are always in control Here is a great snippit of what men think by a comedian dave chapelle.. he speaks many truths!

  16. Anonymous says:

    I strongly agree with it.thank you so much for giving us information regarding this issues…It is an eye opener instrument to see and know the reality of what the guys the way they think.Nowadays women are being blinded by their wrong perception and misinterpretation about engaging and having an ultimate relationship with the men.HELLO WOMEN!DON’T MAKE OURSELVES IGNORANT ABOUT THIS. WAKE UP! THIS IS TRUE..

  17. Tia says:

    I think that people today simply do not want to accept the reality of things, and it is just so annoying. Anyways, good post, and I agree with EVERYTHING

  18. Nonesense says:

    stupid post all a woman really wants to know is how to stop men from being easy not the other way round

  19. Laura Jacobs says:

    Great blog! I respect the honesty! The world is tough enough on women without us being hard enough on ourselves.

    Fact is, if a woman is easy, she’s just as easy as the man that’s with her and has just as much low self-esteem as he does.

    If two people rob a bank, is only one accused of the crime? It’s time to grow up and take responsibility for your behavior…good or bad. Stop putting it off on the woman…

    I agree, men think how they think. I’m not concerned with that, I’m concerned how God thinks. God has no double standards…for men or women.

    God didn’t throw just Eve out of the Garden of Eden, but both Adam and Eve. They both took responsibility. Also, you can’t judge someone for being promiscuous (male or female), you never know what they have been through in life or what they are currently going through.

    P.S…if they’re cheating on you? Freakin’ Ditch them and don’t look back. You’re too good!

    Laura

  20. Anne says:

    Any man who sleeps with a woman he devalues in any way is on the same level as she is,
    and often lower. That devaluing is the kind that was imposed on black women in slavery. The sick, self-serving justification for raping them was that they were “easy” and sexually immoral. In addition, part of being an adult is accepting personal responsibility for one’s choices of behavior, no matter who he or she is. There are some men who will label even women they know nothing about as easy. Such men will do this even if they are not in circumstances that would be conducive to providing any insight on the sexual behavior of the women they judge. At a time when anyone can contract incurable STD’s or be determined by DNA testing to have fathered a child even casually, everyone needs to be selective in whom he or she decides to sleep with. The sexual double standard, as far as I’m concerned, provides a rationale for being dishonest, immature, and selfish. That’s because it imposes responsibility for a man’s behavior on the woman as well as responsibility for her own. Actually, it’s in everyone’s best interests to look before we leap in deciding whom to have sex with. We wouldn’t just give our money or any other prized possessions up just like that, so all of us need to respect our bodies in the same way regardless of gender.

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